The Underappreciated Housewife's Fantasy

When Tina Burton wakes up to find her house deserted and her bedroom filled with the sweet aroma of freshly made pancakes, she doesn't know what to think. Then she sees the note: To my beautiful wife, It has come to my attention that we (myself and the children) have not been appreciative enough of all the wonderful things you do for us, day in and day out. As such I have decided to treat you to a full day of pampering and romance, starting from now! Please enjoy this breakfast I have prepared. Don't worry about the kids I have them sorted and we are probably already on our way to football as you read this. A car will be here to pick you up at ten for further pampering. Relax, dress casual. Love From Kyle What follows is a day of relaxation, romance, self discovery and immense passion. "Immediately Tina sensed the presence of the two man-mountains close by, one at each of her shoulders. Tim spoke in a gentle, soothing voice. "I'm going to massage your head and neck, then we will massage the rest of your body together." She felt his hand wrap around her head, massaging her scalp before slowly guiding his hands down the back of her neck. The pressure was firm but gentle. Tina could feel muscles she didn't even know she had, begin to relax under his steady pressure. He worked for a few minutes before removing his hands. Tina could hear the sound of oil being squirted, and then she felt two pairs of hands begin to massage her shoulders. The men worked in perfect unison, completely mirroring each other's actions. The oil they were using seemed to warm her as it soaked into her soft skin. Tina could feel a trail of relaxed muscles, following in the wake of their diligent hands. The men worked down from her shoulder, all the way to the tips of her fingers. Then their hands glided back to her shoulders and began to work methodically down her back. Tina was in heaven. It felt like there were two halves to her body. The half the men had touched which was blissfully relaxed. Then there was the other half, filled with tension, stress and worries. Tina hadn't realised that she was carrying so much tension around with her. But now that her back and shoulders had been set free, she looked at the rest of her body like some poor trapped animal that needed to be liberated. The men continued their gradual progress, freeing her body as they went. When they reached the towel they simply slid it off onto the floor and continued massaging. Tina was hovering in some kind of Nirvana at this point..."

Clint Hardwood is an up-and-coming erotic author, or at least he thinks he is. Clint is a big fan of authentic erotic literature and, as such, he does not like to be constrained by common tropes or cliches. He does, however, reserve the right to include them when the feeling takes him. Clint likes to think that his work is a blend of his own unique wit and charm. Though his wife thinks that's just a fancy way of explaining that he's a dork. Who can say for sure? Clint prefers to write in the first person, as he feels it allows him to really build up a character's essence and allows readers to immerse themselves in a story. Be prepared, like Clint, his characters have a tendency to get distracted, and at times their thoughts might take you on a wild tangent. Clint feels that this makes his characters more relatable and adds a touch of humour to some intense moments, though the jury is still out on that one. Right now, Clint is wondering at the absurd nature of this bio, as he finds it quite bizarre talking about himself in the third person. But the three author bios Clint read before making this page were all written like this, so in the interest of sounding like a real author, Clint is giving it a go. As Clint said before, his lack of conformity is somewhat flexible, and in this case, the more he writes like this, the more he's starting to enjoy it. In fact, he's wondering right now if he should adopt this method of talking at all times. Clint's wife does not think it would be a good idea. Clint's no fool, so that is all, for now.