Spent

Behind every money fight is a part trying to protect you. Couples often return to the same financial arguments again and again. What appears to be a disagreement over dollars is often a much deeper conflict about safety, fairness, dignity, belonging, and love. In Spent, Internal Family Systems expert Jenny Pfeiffer and finance expert Dr. Michael J. Seiler offer a groundbreaking and practical framework for understanding why money can become so emotionally charged—and how couples can stop fighting each other and start listening to the parts of themselves that money activates. Using the language of IFS, Spent shows that many financial conflicts are not failures of math or discipline. They are moments when protective parts take over. A Budget Guardian may scan for danger and insist on control. A Freedom Protector may experience any restriction as a threat. A Treat Seeker may chase relief after stress or loneliness. A Shame Manager may hide purchases, debt, or anxiety to avoid judgment. Each part is trying to prevent pain. But when these protectors run the conversation, partners stop hearing one another and begin defending survival positions. With warmth, insight, and practical tools, Pfeiffer and Seiler guide readers through the financial situations where couples and individuals most often get stuck: spending, saving, debt, investing, unequal incomes, shared versus separate accounts, supporting parents or adult children, lifestyle upgrades, real estate decisions, career ambition, generosity, boundaries, and the elusive question of what is “enough.” For anyone who has ever thought, “We keep having the same money fight,” Spent offers a new way forward—one that replaces blame with curiosity, shame with compassion, and recurring conflict with decisions that feel safer, wiser, and more connected.

Jenny Pfeiffer is a licensed professional counselor, relationship coach, and the founder of Fiercely Connecting Therapy & Coaching, where for over a decade she has guided couples, individuals, and high-performing professionals into the tender truths living underneath their fiercest conflicts. Born and raised in Durban, South Africa, she brings an internationally informed sensibility to her clinical work. She holds a Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and draws on studies in research psychology, divinity, and journalism - a synthesis that shapes her distinctive voice as a therapist, writer, and speaker. Her approach is trauma-informed and psychodynamic, weaving Internal Family Systems and Jungian analysis with contemporary relational theory. She is licensed in Virginia, Massachusetts, and New York. Her work with founders and executives on the hidden economics of trust, repair, and boundary clarity is distilled in her proprietary Relational Economics Model. Dr. Michael J. Seiler is the John & Yvonne Whitcomb Endowed Chair Professor of Real Estate & Finance at William & Mary and a Schoen Scholar and Visiting Professor at Yale University. A former hedge fund Chief Economist, he is an internationally recognized behavioral real estate and decision researcher whose work has been cited in major media outlets including the Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Boston Globe, and the Washington Post. He has published over 200 research studies and books and has held visiting scholar and visiting professor roles at institutions including Harvard University, the University of Cambridge, the London School of Economics, MIT, Johns Hopkins University, and the Australian National University. Dr. Seiler is the world's #1 REAL ranked researcher and has an international behavioral research lifetime achievement award named after him. He also advises organizations applying behavioral science in practice, regularly serves as a keynote speaker, and teaches executive education at Harvard University.